Photograph

I found a photograph of my parents before I was born having Christmas lunch at my grandparents farm. 

It made me stop and wonder what it could have been like if my parents never divorced, if they actually worked out. 

Would I have more direct siblings who I would have grown up with?

In thinking this though it would mean I wouldn’t have the family I have now, I have two older step sisters and two younger half sisters who I wouldn’t have in my life if my parents had worked out. 

I don’t think it would be worth losing losing them for that one wish of “what if”. I have also gained the “Auntie” status from one of my big sisters who I’d lose, one niece and one nephew. I wouldn’t lose the Auntie status if my parents had stayed together as my big brother has a son; but I would still lose five - seven people in my life not including my gained grandparents,aunts, uncles and cousins. 

But that photograph did make me stop and wonder, two people in the photo are now dead, my grandmother from my dads side and my grandfather from my mums side.

I guess their divorce in a way was one of the best things to happen to me as I gained a whole family who just happily accepted me.