Life

There's so much I want to do in life, it's like I feel that I no time at all even though I have all the time in the world.
I have hit a solid brick wall with my writing which is disappointing, but am working on my fitness. I just have to decide on my future career path. Family feel I'd do good as a Teacher Aide or Support Worker, what I really want to do though is Journalism, I really want to be a Journalist and a writer but unfortunately everything costs money and everything takes time.

Delivering newspapers is both a relaxing and a frustrating job to do, it's so peaceful being out there on the street when everyone is at work as it's so quiet on the side streets, on the downside though I can't believe how heavy newspapers can actually be. It gets so frustrating trying to pull a wagon without any brakes up steep hills, it's amazing how many hills there are that you don't notice is actually a hill until you try to stop a wagon on it. I feel like quitting every single Thursday out of frustration because of it but the elderly and baby bloomer generation thanking me for their newspaper is the main thing that keeps me delivering.   

Lonley Yet Not Alone

It's odd when someone you use to talk to everyday about everything in your life is no longer in your life.
I've been feeling so lost and lonely lately, I didn't realise just how much the friendship of this one person actually meant to me.
Even though they were so toxic and controlling and hurt me many times I still valued their friendship and now that it's officially over it's like there's a big gap in my life that they use to fill.
You never expect or imagine something that often made you happy and feel less alone would turn so ugly after one significant thing to the point that you question if there was even a point to it all.
What was the reason they were introduced to your life in the first place? What was the lesion? Was there even a point? Was it some sick joke to feel that you've finally found everything you've ever wanted only for them to become everything you should never have? Would the happiness have been better if they had never been introduced or would they have found no happiness at all?

I feel no love for anyone (apart from friends and family of course) but it's like it's just walked out the door and that's it, never coming back. For now anyway.