Decided to get back to fully completing the book I originally started writing when I was ten years old. The storyline itself has definitely changed a lot over the years and became more darker.
I remember when I first started writing it out it was based of some childhood story I had thought of and as I got older the story grew and more mature scenes started appearing in the story. The main storyline idea hasn't changed but a lot has grown from it. It's amazing how your own story can shock you and really upset you, you really get attached to them.

Hannah Baker Poem - I'm Wearing Lacy Black Underwear by Sarah Kay

Today I am wearing lacy black underwear
For the sole purpose of knowing I am wearing them.
And underneath that?
I am absolutely naked.
And I've got skin. Miles and miles of skin;
I've got skin to cover all my thoughts
like Saran Wrap that you can see through
to what leftovers are inside from the night before.
And despite what you might think, my skin is not rough; nor is it bullet-proof.
My skin is soft, and smooth, and easily scarred.
But that doesn't matter, right?
You don't care about how soft my skin is.
You just want to hear about what my fingers do in the dark.
But what if all they do is crack open windows?
So I can see lightning through the clouds.
What if all they crave is a jungle gym to climb for a taste of fresher air?
What if all they reach for is a notebook or a hand to hold?
But that's not the story you want.
You are licking your lips and baring your teeth.
Just once I would like to be the direction someone else is going.
I don't need to be the water in the well.
I don't need to be the well.
But I'd like to not be the ground anymore.
I'd like to not be the thing people dig their hands in anymore.
Some girls know all the lyrics to each other's songs.
They find harmonies in their laughter.
Their linked elbows echo in tune.
What if I can't hum on key?
What if my melodies are the ones nobody hears?
Some people can recognize a tree,
A front yard, and know they've made it home.
How many circles can I walk in before I give up looking?
How long before I'm lost for good.
It must be possible to swim in the ocean of the one you love without drowning.
It must be possible to swim without becoming water yourself.
But I keep swallowing what I thought was air.
I keep finding stones tied to my feet.

The Great War Exhibition

Looks like May is going to be one of the busiest months of the year so far.

We had a 60th  Birthday at the beginning of the month in Wellington where we went to see the Great War Exhibition and The Trench. I was beyond words after the Trench, the bombs were scary but the story/history that the Trench was both sad and interesting. The Exhibition was amazingly done, the statues looked so realistic. I found out from mum that my great grandfather who went to war and died during the war was in fact never found. By the looks of the thick mud in the coloured photos at the exhibition I can understand why. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have you husband/son/brother/grandfather go away to fight in a world war only to never see them again. I know that was sadly a reality for many people around the world and it is just heart breaking.  

My future niece in laws hens night was last weekend. It was the first one I had ever been to one. It wasn't what I expected but it just made me think of if/when I ever get married it's going to be expensive.
They get married next month, I'm not going to the wedding because there's not kids and I'm the babysitter but it sounds like its going to be cool.

My ex boyfriend was apparently meant to come here this month but as usual he didn't.
I plucked up the courage to tell my current boyfriend that I loved him and he already knew I do and loves me too but wants to tell me that in person which is sweet. My parents keep asking me when he's taking me out on a date now that he's working full time but I honestly don't feel like he needs to take me on one. We talk everyday and we support each other, we don't need to spend money to show that we care. He earned that money himself and I don't want him to spend it on me. Especially since houses here are way too expensive I'd rather he kept it for himself and save it all.

Anywho hope whoever is reading this is ok.